It’s been such a busy few weeks. School started for my son on August 16th. He goes to school on the east side. It’s been a continuation of a sobering experience to drive over there and see all of the fit people out jogging, walking, enjoying life. The east side seems to emanate energy and vitality. I don’t feel that vibe on the west side. I wondered if I lived over there, would I still be the couch potato that I have become over the past decade?
I USED to work out… a lot…. and keep my body not exactly thin, but at a much healthier weight. About 70 lbs less than I’m carrying now. I ponder and ponder this, but can not deduce why I can’t stick to working out and eating right.
I’ll draw up plans for a workout schedule, join Weight Watchers (repeatedly), go to the store and load my cart with healthy foods, write down all of my toxic emotions in a journal. Things seem to go better for a while, and then, just like the sober alcoholic who plays Russian Roulette and decides he can take “just one drink”, I decide I can do it on my own, I don’t need the weight loss meetings, or to work out this week, or I convince myself that two cartons of Hostess love in a box won’t really hurt (especially if I keep them hidden and no one in the house sees them).
WHY does this one area of my life confound me so?
I have supportive friends and family, I have way expensive walking shoes and countless pedometers to track my steps, enough exercise DVDs and videotapes to stock my own store…. yet I can’t stick to it.
The first thing I kid myself into/out of is sleep. I reason to myself that I can get by on 5 or 6 hours of sleep. I’ve never been able to put the proper value on enough sleep for myself. Late evening is the only time I seem to be able to read a good book, waste countless minutes/hours playing games on my smart phone, check my email in case Ed McMahon’s trying to reach me with that elusive million dollar check.
This is one of those times I wish I had a legion of dedicated readers who could at least chime in with their two cents regarding treating yourself as well as you try to treat everyone else.
I’m open to all thoughts. PLEASE chime in.